Mini Squishable Mint Octopus

Mini Squishable Mint Octopus, what are you doing here on my shoulder? Did you escape your tank? Am I about to get an angry call from the aquarium? Yep, there goes my phone. You can't keep doing this! You have responsibilities! You have an artificial aquatic environment to inhabit! Not to mention the complex academic structure of your postdoctoral fellowship - don't forget that! Who's teaching your Calculus 302 class right now? How will you ever get tenure at this rate? Jeez, get your priorities together, octopus.